Girls Day Out

This past Saturday, I was invited to join my coworkers church, Renovation Christian Ministries, on a Ladies shopping day. This event was for singles, widows and older ladies. It was an honour to be invited to go. I had a wonderful time and God opened my eyes to a few things that I’d like to share here.

Being invited to this event was very special to me for several reasons. I don’t usually get invited out like this and also the language barrier is usually a struggle for me. I spent over 6 hours with this fabulous group of women – without a translator!!! (Thank you Spanish Institute for the ongoing Spanish classes!!!) Sure, there were times I didn’t fully understand what was being said, but I’m also very sure my Spanlish wasn’t always understood either.

This is a really big deal!!! For anyone who is learning or has learnt a new language you can relate, it can be intimidating and frustrating at times. People are sometimes scared to talk to you because they don’t know if you understand. So you find yourself sitting alone or just standing around with everyone but no one talks to you. Well friends, I had some of the best conversations with these wonderful women of God. I got to hear some of their stories and got to know them better and they got to know me as well. It was amazing!!!

I also learned something interesting. Many of these women are single because they are either widowed, divorced or their husbands left them. A few are even moms of some of our sponsor children. It was really interesting to hear their stories, even if it was only a short bit of it. It made me realize that the tough times I’ve gone through being single into my 40’s is hard, but not compared to some of these women. And you know what I loved the most, was that they glorified God and thanked him for caring for them and their children. They didn’t blame God or run away from him, most of them came to Christ during this time in their lives. Wow! I absolutely love that.

This verse reminds me that God is watching over me, as a single and foreigner in the land. 🙂 That God cares about the widows and orphans because He alone is the best husband and father anyone could ever have. During the lonely and hard times, God is caring for and providing for those He loves. The ones that seem to be forgotten by the rest of the world or abandoned. Wow. He really does place us in ‘families’ – they may not be our natural families but they are often just as close and strong. Thank you Lord. I am truly blessed to have such a loving and wonderful Honduran family, and it keeps on growing. I love it!

We had a fun day of shopping. Most of these ladies had never been to Ojojona, a small town about an hour away from there they live. The church blessed them by providing this event, paying their way, providing lunch and even buying things for them! 🙂 Wow! I love how great the body of Christ is when it works in unity together.

How Are You? Really?

February was a rough month for me, if I’m being honest and transparent. I felt like there was a dark cloud over me and several things were just plain depressing, hard and sad. I don’t like to share these things, because it’s not super encouraging, but I also realize this could be an encouragement to someone who may be there right now.

I know that God was with me through it, even in the darkest thoughts and moments. That was the ONE THING I knew, even if I didn’t feel it in the moment. I decided that I was going to ‘feel the feels’ and try not to push them away, which I often do. So, when I felt like crying, I did. When I was angry or frustrated with God, I decided to be raw and honest with him. I basically hid out in my house on the weekends, as my weeks days were filled with heavy things at work. Literally my brain ached, so I would come home at night and just rest. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone, it was just too exhausting. I cried and prayed to God to make this time go away, but in all honesty, I think I needed it. I needed to process all that had been going on in my life and our ministry the past year. All the things that I ‘pushed through’ and didn’t process while it was happening.

Breakthrough came and you know what… I believe it came because I admitted that I was not OK, I was struggling. I admitted it to myself after listening to this awesome message from Gateway Church in London. https://youtu.be/2fxDz5G44-4?t=1823 Later that week, I admitted it to some close, dear friends. I even learned that I had reason to be heavy with everything that has gone on in our world, our ministry and my personal life in the past year. I had experienced trauma and hadn’t really realize it. I literally felt the dark cloud moving. I came home from work late Thursday afternoon and didn’t feel exhausted and tired like I had been. The next morning, I woke up ready to exercise and go about my day. I still felt sad about a few things, but not heavy like I had been. Not tired and exhausted. That Friday night, I went out for dinner with a friend and we talked, real and honest about life. I met up with friends Saturday, had a 5 hour phone call with a childhood friend, went out Sunday afternoon after church with another friend. The dark cloud and heaviness had left and moved on. And you know what? I’m still moving forward in that victory! Thank you Jesus.

Now, this may not be what happens for everyone, but I truly believe my breakthrough came because I took the time to process my ‘stuff’ and then admitted I wasn’t ok and decided to do something about it. God came and met me in my darkness. He met me where I was and even though he didn’t answer or provide the things I was asking for, He was there. I came across this song ‘Sovereign Over Us‘, which I had heard before but, hearing again, recently the words came to life for me. I want to share it here because friends we need to be reminded that GOD IS SOVEREIGN over our lives and our circumstances. The good and the ugly.

SOVEREIGN = a supreme ruler, possessing ultimate power
THIS is our God!!!

Here are just some of the lyrics that hit me most.

And you meet us in our mourning
With a love that cast out fear
You are working in our waiting
You’re teaching us to trust

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for your glory
Even in the valley, you are faithful
You’re working for our good
You’re working for our good and for your glory

Friends…
He is sovereign over my disappointments, my hurts, my unfulfilled dreams.
He is sovereign over our ministry at Schools of Hope and dreams for the future.
He is sovereign over your life, your circumstances, your hurts and disappointments.
What the enemy means for evil, God will work it for our good. Because, let’s be real honest here, the goal of Satan is to ‘steal, kill and destroy’ (the Bible says so in John 10:10). He wants to distract and weight us down with our fears and worries. He wants to make us doubt God and his goodness. He wants to slow down or halt the work of God. He wants to destroy us! Hello!!!

Friend, if you are not OK today, please reach out.
Whether it’s to me, a counsellor, a pastor or a friend.
Admit it to yourself that you are not OK.
Admit it to God.
Admit it to friends you trust.
Don’t be OK with not being OK.
Don’t let the enemy win.

Overwhelmed?

The other day I was listening to this podcast (see below) by Christine Caine ‘What to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed’. I’ll admit the start of a new ministry season is always a bit overwhelming, and this year is no exception. Most days are full, but some days are jam-packed. I don’t understand how but every Friday seems to be the worst. So, when I came across this podcast it caught my attention and I decided to listen after a crazy day. What God spoke to me through this was incredible.

‘From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.’
– Psalm 61: 2-3

First things first, I love how real and practical this message is. Second, all of us, at some point or another, have been overwhelmed in our lives.

Various parts of scripture talk about God being our Rock, our shelter, a strong tower, like the verses above. What stuck out to me from the message and these verses was that, yes, God is our Rock, but He is also ‘higher’ above. He sees things from a different perspective. We can’t see the bigger picture from where we are, especially when we are overwhelmed, but He can.

I don’t know about you but, when I am overwhelmed EVERYTHING freaks me out, even the kindest nicest gesture can sometimes annoy me. I need to close my office door or leave the room, so that I can be alone. I need to breathe, close my eyes. Sit down and just be quiet. Sometimes, I need to cry so I can get out my emotions because screaming isn’t necessarily possibly (although, if I’m alone I sometimes do!! lol). I need to talk to God or listen to some worship music. Basically, I need to get away from the situation and calm down before I can see things better. Anyone else with me?

My judgement is usually clouded when I am overwhelmed. Usually, I make a rash decision so that the problem will just go away but that doesn’t necessarily resolve it or make things better. God needs to be our rock that we turn to in these situations because then, he can be our shelter and strong tower. He can give us a fresh, new perspective. We don’t have many towers these days, but the purpose of them in Bible days was to see someone coming from a distance. Whoever was in them could see if it was an enemy coming to attack or just someone coming to visit. They would call down to the gate for it to be opened, or in some cases closed. They had a better perspective from where they were. That is what we need when we are overwhelmed, to get a better perspective.

Be encouraged today friends. God sees the bigger picture. He knows why certain things are happening in your life today and is there for us watching everything that is going on. When we feel overwhelmed we need to get to that higher ground and allow Him to be our strong tower. Then, we will see things more clearly. We may not always get the answers we seek, but we can trust in the One who knows the beginning from the end and know that He is watching over us.